Dear Steve and Shirley,
Maybe you can help me. My wife and I have been married for six years and we have one daughter. I'm thirty-two and she's thirty. We were young when we started dating, so we had a few three ways and we went to the strip club together all of the time.
We both got saved right after we got married, but I still got chills when I heard my single friend talking about being with two girls at one time like a dummy. I decided to check in with my wife to see if she wanted to go to the strip club with me and a group of our friends. She said that she's not going nor am I.
I didn't want an argument, so I didn't push it. I went anyway, and I told her I was playing cards with friends. She found out from one of the girls that dates one of my friends. She told me that if I want to play, then it's on. I told her that women can't do what men do, and I put my foot down and I said that there's nothing wrong with going to the strip club.
She said fine, and that was it. I went a few more times and I told her before I left. She never said a word, so I thought it was cool.
Her birthday came around and she told me she was going to Palm Springs with her sorority sisters. It was a quick trip, so I was cool with it. A week later, I found out that they rented a sprinter and hired two male strippers to entertain them on the ride. She and four other married women went.
She was so happy to admit that she lied to me. She won't tell me where she stayed or where the two strippers stayed. She told me that she doesn't question me, so she wants the same grace.
Okay, so the joke is on me this time. This is not how I want my marriage to go.
How do we rebuild the trust?